This university thing takes over your life!
So I am definitely prone to bouts of depression when I’m stressed,just hope I don’t relapse…and get clinically depressed again…
Sometimes life overwhelms me,I have a long reaction time so…I get sad about it later…
Like when Aunty Vivien was about to die,I was numb…now is when it has hit me.
Or when after my brother died and I just broke down in tears 7 months later because that’s when it REALLY hit me.
Or like the fact that Zikhalo pulled a Judas/Chanda on me…even though I saw it coming,it still hurts….though at first I was like “screw that mother!”….it made me feel worthless like I’m not good enough to be cared about that way. You know? Like,I’m just supposed to be exchanged or am some kind of stand in or just those soya pieces you buy when u dnt have cash for chicken but when chicken comes you ditch the soya (unless ure vegan).
Its not funny ala!
Would have been a heart break if I had a heart to break. JK,it takes a lot to break my heart lol, it was a jab to my self esteem….so I guess I’m not as amazing as he said I was…or maybe I’m not amazing enough?
It’s all good….even though it doesn’t feel like,it is all good.
The darkest hour’s just before the day.
Remember March 8 2012. God restored me. Psalm 71